Thursday, January 8, 2015

You Might be a Redneck if...

There have been many moments in my life in which I thought I reached the pinnacle of backwoods living. However, little compares to what happened the other night. I have recounted this story to a few people around here, most of whom have nodded in assent, "Uh-huh, that's one way to do it." But the truth remains--we now eat road kill.

View from the tree stand
My husband spent a few hours in his tree stand nearly every day from October 1 to January 1. He hunted bow season, shotgun season, muzzleloader season, and late doe season--all with nothing to show for it. He shot one buck the day I came home from the hospital with our own little B.  He spent five hours tracking it to no avail, coming home tired and empty handed to a less-than-thrilled wife. After bow season, the deer patterns changed and he just wasn't seeing much of anything. After another day of frustrated attempts, he said a prayer from his stand, "Lord, I just want meat in the freezer."

BAM. Tires screeched and a reverberating thump was heard from the road directly behind his tree stand, just as my husband was descending to come inside for the night. He ran out in full camo and carrying his muzzleloader to find a massive doe lying near the asphalt, hit directly onto our own property. My husband talked to the lady who hit the deer: yes, she was alright, and no, she did not mind if we took the carcass. Did she want to pull her SUV into our driveway while she waited for a tow truck? No, thank you.

We immediately set the children in front of the TV and started processing the deer. This involved gutting, hanging, removing the head and legs, and skinning the deer. This went fairly quickly with two of us working and only became awkward when a car accidently pulled into our driveway to turn around. They were greeted with quite a sight.

After a quick break to run to the store for freezer bags, fix supper for the children, and nurse a fussy baby, we began the butchering process. While my husband quartered the deer, I stayed in the kitchen cutting the pieces of meat from the bone. The tougher pieces were saved for grinding while roasts, tenderloins, and backstraps were packaged separately. All told, everything went quickly and smoothly. The deer was in pretty good shape for being clobbered by an SUV, and we were able to get a sizeable amount of meat in the freezer. Even though the method was slightly unconventional, I am thankful for the result!

The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it.
Numbers 11:18b

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